Decision

Ok, so yesterday I stop at the Jiffy Mart to get cigarettes and realize that my particular vice of choice has gone up to over $4.00 a pack!!! Holy crap!! I wasn't prepared to just NOT buy any...you know, standing there at the counter, debit card in hand, request for TWO packs already out of my mouth. So, I made my purchase and quietly drove home. Now, I'm a muller. (A muller is someone who mulls things over in their mind when the unexpected happens - flat tires, unexpected shoe cravings, that kind of thing.) I mulled over the rising cost of cancer in a box and decided that I absolutely had to quit smoking. Keep in mind. Up until that very moment, I still enjoyed smoking. Relished that first drag of the day when sleep is still in my eyes. Cherished the precious after meal smoke. Anticipated the smoke breaks at work like a kid at Christmas. I like to think I'm a considerate smoker. I don't force my habit on those who choose NOT to smoke and I NEVER smoke in the house. However, this was too much. Not only am I a muller; I'm also a tightwad.

Long story short, I've decided to quit smoking. I'm not going to use any replacement therapies since they just substitute one method of nicotine ingestion for another and I'm probably going to avoid Chantix as well. (Found out that Chantix has been linked to severe depression, mental illnesses and suicidal tendencies. I think those are side affects I won't gamble on...) Which pretty much leaves me with the cold turkey quit. Which in turn...sucks. I'm scared to death of the withdrawals, the cravings, the test of will power, the whole bit. BUT. I'm going to do it.

Anyone reading this, please pray for my husband and children. They're going to need it.