Catching up...

Just before I met my current husband...

Thursday, August 17, 2006
Why do I hate chick flicks?
Chick flicks. The bane of my movie existence. They're magnetic and fantastic in a car crash kind of way - you don't want to look but some part of you says you HAVE to. I hate them. I hate car crashes too but that's different...
The question is WHY do I hate them? There are a million and one different reasons to hate them but we'll concentrate on the one for now. I hate them for the impossible lie they encourage us to believe. That lie of 'love-conquers-all' nirvana we seem to willingly swallow when we watch one of these films. They're like hocking up a big loogy and then realizing you have no place to spit. You know it's wrong to swallow it yet you have to; swallow the blob and feel nauseous for a moment.
Each chick flick never fails to plot impossible characters in impossible situations (never mind that everyone always seems to be wealthy and perfect) and yet somehow it all works out so the hero and heroine can ride off into the sunset of happily ever after. That simply doesn't happen in real life. It's a huge set up and invariably lets us all down. I have no patience for this charade and refuse to set myself up to believe in it - even if it's just for two hours at a time.
I love romance. But true romance is not made of the around the world flight to my side, the room full of flowers, the song that climaxes at the same time my lover and I do. Romance in the real world is much more powerful and unexpected. It's the feet under the covers, the post-it note on the fridge, the hand held in a waiting room, the smile from across the yard, working together to build a LIFE instead of a scene.
That's why I hate them. I prefer the real deal instead of the predictability of a Hollywood plot line. I resent the assumption that I'm gullible enough to buy into the lie. I resent the tears I'm expected to shed. And God help me if I ever do cry at one...I'm not crying because the story is so good. I'm crying because I've just been lied to and I wanted so badly to believe it. Why break my heart simply because I can? Nope. Not for me.
So, give me a movie I can sink my teeth into. Not my heart. Leave the chick flicks for the women who prefer the lie to reality.

Right before I met HIM. Really...that's a funny story for another time...

The ONE There've been some things rattling around in my head lately and I figured here was as good a place as any to get them out. Don't expect some eloquent, poetic soul wrenching expose...simply thoughts. I've made it past a certain threshold since my last divorce I think. I have made it to that elusive place where I am comfortable being single.
This doesn't mean that I don't sometimes wish for company or a special guy to share things with...I most certainly do. But, I'm not in a hurry to find that ONE relationship. In truth, I don't know if I believe that ONE is out there for me. I'd like to believe but I haven't made it that far yet.
This begs the question though...if that ONE is out there, what's he like? I've turned this over and over in my mind and inspected it from every angle. I've even made a list. An actual list that I could (and have) email. Some of the items on the list are requirements and others are preferences and the list is getting longer every day. I may start asking for references next...
To speak in generalities though, the ONE should have the passion of a musician, the heart of a hero, the soul of a poet, the grit of a cowboy, the faith of a martyr, the charisma of a conman, the honesty of a child, the compassion of a country preacher, and the confidence of a general. He should be strong enough to be weak, smart enough to be silly, serious enough to be funny, hard enough to be soft, and determined enough to let go and play. He'll understand that I am all women rolled up into one package and can match him beat for beat any day of the week. The ONE will open doors he knows I'm perfectly capable of opening for myself. He will never assume tears equal weakness. He will never assume a calm surface indicates lack of concern. He will never doubt me. He will appreciate the treasure I have in my children and love them as well. The ONE will realize that the innocence of childhood is lost very quickly and will help preserve it as long as possible. He will never insult me, call me names, ignore me, demean me, cast me aside. He will love me to abandon - in spite of myself.
It seems like I'm asking for a lot out of one man. I don't really think so. After all, I'm not asking for more than I'm willing to give - to the right man. I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that man right now but it does help to think about what I need and want. Now, if only there were a Build-A-Man store...one day I'd go there.

Turns out I didn't have to go there. One of my nut job friends just happened to know what he was talking about when he kept insisting a friend of his give me a call...